I do Smile too

I rarely read my own blog.  I just do it and put it out usually without any editing other than fixing whatever mistakes would embarrass an English major who managed a lower GPA than I did.  I realized though that in my last blog I strongly insinuated if not outright said that no one understood what I was doing.

Someone did, and it went like this.

In the last few weeks I was accused of driving away gym members.  I was reasonably sure this was untrue since I actively socialize with many of those people, I routinely text most of the rest of them, and there is a grand total of two people who I do not know why they left the gym.

And one of those people I text, I lost.  I had to get a new phone, and I didn't have her number.

It happened one night that I saw her.

She asked me what was new, and after explaining that I changed phones, I told her I was selling my half of the gym.

She looked at me with the jaw dropped utter horror look usually reserved for movies.

And after a suitable dramatic pause, she said this:

"Where are you going to train?"

Of course I had figured that out some weeks ago.

And so she knew that I knew that the only thing that matters is training, and I knew that she knew what I do.

And it happened, yes, that I smiled.

Freebirds & Bear Claws

Yes, I'm a freebird.

I no longer have any association with CrossFit or any of their affiliates.

I'm not sure if I'll ever disclose publicly much of what went into that over the last five or six years.  I've realized few, actually no, people understand what I was trying to do, what I did, or how I did it, so a post mortem wouldn't be particularly helpful to anyone.

Some parts of the story are ridiculously funny, like that one time I had a stalker for a couple of years or those  times I was completely financially broke for a while, and it might be irresponsible not to eventually report those in case anyone needs the entertainment.

And I know too that, "what do you think of CrossFit?" is not a real question.  I'd have to ask my interlocutor what session at which CrossFit was under discussion.  I've done this long enough to see the good, the bad, and the ugly. Some of that, too, is ridiculously funny, and I'd be remiss not to report on some of those like the 100 bar roll outs.



But for now, and for once, I get to think of me.  I have some specific, ambitious yet attainable goals that I will report here.  I'm fortunate to have been accepted by a perfect team to help me reach my goals.



But look, I can't think of me for very long without thinking of you, the people who helped make me during this time.

A few years ago I developed a fascination with Mongolian culture, and I especially liked the story of Genghis Khan being pursued accompanied only by a handful of remaining loyalists and being forced to hide in the mountains.  The men were compelled by necessity eventually to drink brackish water, and thereafter for the rest of his life Genghis Khan took care of those who drank the black water with him.


I didn't do any of that.

I took the 7:30 am crew to Winchell's Donuts for bear claws.


The point though is that figuratively a lot of you ate bear claws with me.

All of you have a piece of my heart.

One of you only got a bit more.

And what good is all that?  I'm not sure other than that I'm doing pull ups and squatting and stuff like that and I hope you are too.

Some of you have me on text and you'll find I'm free with help.  If you don't have me on text and you want to find me, well, start looking for a place where people do pull ups and squats and stuff like that.

Lastly and most importantly, I want to sincerely thank those of you who understood some of what I was trying to do, some of what I did, and some of how I tried to do it, and who gave me much and needed support over the last few weeks.

You guys can find me at Winchell's.

the Rationale Curve, Arm Bars & DQ Slam

So there I was squatting.

That in itself is not unusual since I squat everyday.


But then a guy said to me, "this guy asked The Trainer why he was supposed to do this, and The Trainer said, 'that sounds like something James would say.'"

And yes, I would say that, so I decided the guy was probably okay.

And I think The Trainer's reply, apart from evading the question, was an implicit critique of me and what I do.  Now some people would agree with The Trainer.  They might well say that they work out for fun, and they don't need a reason to perform a certain movement or work out.

Fun is a great goal.

I'd suggest sex.

Hopefully it costs less than a gym membership, to the best of my memory it is fun, and I'd guess it is as effective as Zumba.

So maybe they're not actually training for fun.  Rather I'd suggest that they have no well defined goals, and they have limited time to train what with families, careers, and all.

I get it.

I do.

And this is precisely where you need a rationale for everything you do in the gym.  You have limited units of training time, and using them efficiently should be prioritized.

Actually I am the one who while insisting on a rationale for everything doesn't always need one.  I put in enough hours a day, for enough weeks, filling enough months to be divisible by 12 thereby yielding years, that I can afford some degree of inefficiency.

Look, my rationale for squatting everyday is basically that my arms don't work right now.  I get to retain most of my strength, increase my mobility, have energy left over to do more intense conditioning and still do BJJ.

Now let's suppose that my rationale is faulty or worse yet I don't have one.  In that case, because of my experience and training time available, I'd get to retain most of my strength, increase my mobility, have energy left over to do more intense conditioning and still do BJJ.

Someone training two or three times a week would be fucked without a sound rationale for using those hours.

Okay, maybe that's fun.




I'll be uploading video from the Colorado Super Cup as I have time available.  I'm back to training again despite no arms, and I hope to compete again in May.

Ashley's Second of Three Arm Bars

Michael J Machine Gun wins by DQ after a Slam

Arm Bars & Triangles

My elbow has improved enough to do pull ups again, but I thought it was too early to compete in the Colorado Super Cup in Colorado Springs, so I went to help out the Dark Horse BJJ Team.  I think someday I will be good because I get to train with these guys.

Ashley's Third of Three Arm Bars for the Day

I probably train with Ashley more than anyone which might seem weird unless you were to actually watch us.  Our guard games map to each other fairly well, and I have the most technical rolls with her.  Yes, I weigh 50 pounds more than her, but it tends to work unless I'm on top of side control too soon after she's eaten a waffle.

Machine Gun Triangles

Michael J Machine Gun is a sometimes pro wrestler, and is another great training partner.  Here he has a much better coach than me in professor Andrew Dudderar sitting across the mat, but he works closer to my side, so I try to help.  He gets into a good position where coaching becomes pretty easy.

I seem to say, "here we go," a lot now.

14.4,14.5 & Dust in the Wind

Probably I should have written about 14.4 sooner before I largely forgot it.  I remember it was an AMRAP 14, but for most normal humans it was really a chipper.  I remember I did some of it - the 50 toes to bar in particular I remember- but I didn't finish a complete round in 14 minutes.

So I did some of it, and frankly I think that's pretty good.

14.5 was 21-18-15-12-9-6-3, 95 pound thrusters and bar facing burpees.  I was pretty sure I had no real intention of finishing it, but I had my pre work out drink and decided to at least try it.

pre work out, actually four of them

As it turned out, I lost interest in the work out and did not finish.  

Given my lack of success in the Open, I seriously considered retiring from CrossFit, but I'm not sure how to retire.

Well, if wrestlers leave their shoes on the mat...

Actually this work out showed me that I really like CrossFit.  In fact the whole 7:30 am crew liked this work out enough that we're running it again properly, which is to say as a 12-9-6-3.

I sometimes get criticized for not taking CrossFit seriously, but I'm never sure what the critics are taking about.

I get results.

Non starter on Main Site, but it works on Main Street

I wonder what I do.

Periodically too you have to see what is on the USB drives collecting dust on your desk.  I just did that, and I have a lot of pictures from 2010, 2011, and 2012 of people doing the stuff I do.  Most of these people I haven't seen since 2010, 2011, and 2012.

I guess they're dust in the wind.

And I get criticized for that kind of observation.

I'm not sure why.

I'm also dust in the wind.

I just became lodged in a squat cage for a few years.

Virtue II

A little
Over a few years
let intimacy
ripen naturally-
the number of friends will be small
but the quality will be very large

- Yamaoka Tesshu

I'm not claiming infallibility.  Once in a while though, I'm reminded that I do a lot of little things correctly, and maybe the accumulation of that counts for something.

On the other hand, I've never really been into quantity.

Virtue I & Music

I think psychologists call it recency.

Sometimes you find yourself walking Main Street, maybe you have an extended short term memory, and recency causes you to think about the last five years.

It just works out that today I find myself at the end of the five years that started five years ago.

I've changed a lot over five years, and now more than anything I enjoy those closing moments of the day when I find tranquility and can meditate on Virtue.

Enough casual readings of Proverbs, and here you may choose proverbs or Proverbs as they're all edifying, and I realize I have memorized large excerpts of Proverbs without having consciously tried.  Actually if on
Main Street I were stopped and queried about the true business of a man, I could quickly provide an imperfect but close answer along with supporting citations from proverbs or Proverbs.

So, you can do that, or you can say, "don't be an asshole."





At the University of Iowa, I found a Rabbi professor.  I did not like him, but it was obvious that his intelligence was prodigious, so I usually went to his class.

This is where I learned that sometimes tests at a state university serve to test your understanding of a teaching assistant's misunderstanding of the material the professor covers.

And one day the Rabbi professor summed up his vast credentials placing special emphasis on the scholarly tradition of Rabbis, and then he told us he would explain the essence of Judaism.

After a suitable pause, he said, "don't be an asshole."

So there you go.






And then I have these defined abdominals I just don't handle well.  Maybe I can be forgiven.  I think the problem is that I'm too old to be ape shit fuck jacked.  If I had done it at twenty-one, things would be different now, but I'd have missed the last five years.

So I was at work, and Not Okay Coworker Two, being, well, spherical, interrupted Okay Coworker to explain that she had lost five pounds and she had half a slice of pineapple for lunch.

Man, I just don't know what is supposed to happen there.

So I did that thing where I lifted my shirt and said, "do you know how much you have to eat to do this?"

Here one sophist might say I joyfully helped her in her quest to stop being spherical, while another sophist might say I'm a vain and pompous asshole.

Leaving sophistry aside, maybe I can meditate on Proverbs tonight.





If that doesn't work, one has recourse to music.  I cannot explain this, but lately when meditating slides into sophistry I listen to this, with special enjoyment of the prelude, and this.




I squatted today.