Cookies

Lately I've been screwed.  Until today I had been getting up at 4 am and getting to sleep at 10 pm or later.  I realized that: 1) I should really do the "What to do When You're Screwed" blog, and 2) I should really do any blog before I lose relevance and along with it the possibility of gaining sponsorship from supplement hawkers and overpriced shoe walkers.


I thought about this and decided to just tell the story.  Feel free to insert and extract your own profound morals.

Tuesday some cookies, actually a whole lot of cookies, appeared in the break room at work.  Among them were oatmeal raisin cookies which I haven't had in quite a long time, and which I remember I used to like quite a lot.  Yes, I'm sure hydrogenated palm oil kills you, but it takes a long time, and it tastes great in oatmeal raisin cookies.

As I said it was Tuesday which means I had trained hard the previous day, and barring death or dismemberment I would train hard the next day.  But it was Tuesday which means I only did some burpees.  Still I figured that on average I'm a very hard training guy, and while by my own standards I'm slightly fat now, I'm at the level of slightly fat that I consider acceptable and even necessary when I am really trying to push my lifts up.

So you know, fuck it, I'm going to eat some cookies.

So there I am, a guy who doesn't eat cookies who is now definitely going to eat cookies, and around the cookies I see the people who are more than slightly fat and who are not currently pushing their lifts, and while they're the kind of people who definitely eat cookies, they're pretending that they don't eat cookies.

So here's what I do.  I walk up to the cookies, I say apologetically, "I got to quit fucking around; I;m getting visible abs again," I lift my shirt, and then I take as many cookies as I can fit between my thumb and middle finger and walk out.

"Mostly paleo all the time"