by James Drebenstedt on Friday, July 16, 2010 at 8:37am
The squat is almost everything. It's a whole body exercise, but you can still do it if your whole body doesn't work as when I had one hand in January.
1) Intra-abdominal pressure is most of the squat. You're going to take a deep breath and pack the abdomen. You can argue about a belt all you want. When you get serious, get a belt. It's going to be one notch loose, and you're going to push your abdominal wall into it. You might turn purple like I sometimes do. It's okay. Even if you pass out, you're just going to get smashed. You won't die.
2) Most of the rest of the squat is doing everything in your power to use the posterior chain. Don't think about going down, think about pushing the butt back. You'll feel the hamstrings load, and the stretch reflex will help you out of the hole.
3) I'm not sure where your feet go. Put them where you think they go and then put them wider. This will make your pathetic little glutes fire, and the more your pathetic little glutes fire, the less they'll be pathetic and little.
4) Push your knees out. If you're like me, you'll have no sense of your knees. No problem - "spread the floor" with your feet. This makes your body push the knees out even though you still won't feel it. Pushing out or spreading the floor will make your pathetic little glutes fire.
5) If you push your knees out at the bottom, you're way too late. As soon as you break at the hips and push back, not down, on the descent, you're pushing out or spreading the floor.
6) Your body likes the squat much more than the deadlift. This is because it understands the stretch reflex even if you don't. You will think your body hates the squat. Not at all. This is your brain fucking with you. Squatting requires absolute faith.
7) Cases are made for all head positions. Do what you want. I've found neutral is best. Remember that because your upper body inclines forward, neutral will seem like down. Looking up doesn't help anything. Looking down is asking to go ass up face down. Now the weird part - at the bottom of the squat you want your head to go towards geographical up. This feels like you're jamming your neck or upper back into the bar. That is true "up", and that's the only place you want to go.
8) You want a tight, tight upper back. That is the easiest way to get the correct lumbar curve, and avoid the "poopy dog."
9) You're not a genius. Don't re-invent the wheel in the middle of the ninth inning. You're going to use a basic linear progression. I've used 5/3/1 and CFFB amateur strength workout. If you don't like those try "starting strength," or some such thing. Don't be an idiot. When you're good, you'll make the pilgrimage to Ohio and work with Dave Tate or Louie Simmons. Until then, you're going to lift and admit you don't everything. This will mean you know enough.
10) Depending on your basic linear progression, you'll squat insanely heavy once a week, idiotically heavy twice a week, or even stupidly heavy three times a week.
11) All that squatting will make you hungry. You will not deny yourself adequate food. You're going to get somewhat fat. This is okay because you will be strong, and besides you'll have a great personality. Unfortunately noone will care that you have a great personality because it will manifest itself mainly through you screaming profanity in most social situations. No problem. You will remind yourself you have a great personality. You might even try saying it out loud when you're done screaming. I think I'll try that. Fuck, I have a great personality.
12) You might have to eat 35 Reeces Peanut Butter Cups a day. I haven't yet, but if becomes necessary I'll do it without hesitation. The squat is almost everything.
13) If this isn't working for you, you might be afraid of being fat. If you're afraid of being fat, it's probably because you want a blond super model girlfriend. I actually had a blond super model girlfriend. It almost killed me. Don't do it.
14) The other reason this might not work is that you lack faith. Quit lacking faith, I guess.
15) The final reason this might not work is that you're a genius which is a sure sign you're an idiot. Quit thinking and squat. 5/3/1, CFFB SWOD, etc.
16) It is vital that you do not "feel a burn" in your quads. That's weird bodybuilding shit that means not only do you want a blond super model girlfriend, but even worse, you got the stupid idea that you want a blond super model girlfriend from an overpriced yet worthless men's magazine. Finally, feeling a burn in the quads means you haven't understood the need to find and use the posterior chain.
17) Yes, I'm available for consultations.
1) Intra-abdominal pressure is most of the squat. You're going to take a deep breath and pack the abdomen. You can argue about a belt all you want. When you get serious, get a belt. It's going to be one notch loose, and you're going to push your abdominal wall into it. You might turn purple like I sometimes do. It's okay. Even if you pass out, you're just going to get smashed. You won't die.
2) Most of the rest of the squat is doing everything in your power to use the posterior chain. Don't think about going down, think about pushing the butt back. You'll feel the hamstrings load, and the stretch reflex will help you out of the hole.
3) I'm not sure where your feet go. Put them where you think they go and then put them wider. This will make your pathetic little glutes fire, and the more your pathetic little glutes fire, the less they'll be pathetic and little.
4) Push your knees out. If you're like me, you'll have no sense of your knees. No problem - "spread the floor" with your feet. This makes your body push the knees out even though you still won't feel it. Pushing out or spreading the floor will make your pathetic little glutes fire.
5) If you push your knees out at the bottom, you're way too late. As soon as you break at the hips and push back, not down, on the descent, you're pushing out or spreading the floor.
6) Your body likes the squat much more than the deadlift. This is because it understands the stretch reflex even if you don't. You will think your body hates the squat. Not at all. This is your brain fucking with you. Squatting requires absolute faith.
7) Cases are made for all head positions. Do what you want. I've found neutral is best. Remember that because your upper body inclines forward, neutral will seem like down. Looking up doesn't help anything. Looking down is asking to go ass up face down. Now the weird part - at the bottom of the squat you want your head to go towards geographical up. This feels like you're jamming your neck or upper back into the bar. That is true "up", and that's the only place you want to go.
8) You want a tight, tight upper back. That is the easiest way to get the correct lumbar curve, and avoid the "poopy dog."
9) You're not a genius. Don't re-invent the wheel in the middle of the ninth inning. You're going to use a basic linear progression. I've used 5/3/1 and CFFB amateur strength workout. If you don't like those try "starting strength," or some such thing. Don't be an idiot. When you're good, you'll make the pilgrimage to Ohio and work with Dave Tate or Louie Simmons. Until then, you're going to lift and admit you don't everything. This will mean you know enough.
10) Depending on your basic linear progression, you'll squat insanely heavy once a week, idiotically heavy twice a week, or even stupidly heavy three times a week.
11) All that squatting will make you hungry. You will not deny yourself adequate food. You're going to get somewhat fat. This is okay because you will be strong, and besides you'll have a great personality. Unfortunately noone will care that you have a great personality because it will manifest itself mainly through you screaming profanity in most social situations. No problem. You will remind yourself you have a great personality. You might even try saying it out loud when you're done screaming. I think I'll try that. Fuck, I have a great personality.
12) You might have to eat 35 Reeces Peanut Butter Cups a day. I haven't yet, but if becomes necessary I'll do it without hesitation. The squat is almost everything.
13) If this isn't working for you, you might be afraid of being fat. If you're afraid of being fat, it's probably because you want a blond super model girlfriend. I actually had a blond super model girlfriend. It almost killed me. Don't do it.
14) The other reason this might not work is that you lack faith. Quit lacking faith, I guess.
15) The final reason this might not work is that you're a genius which is a sure sign you're an idiot. Quit thinking and squat. 5/3/1, CFFB SWOD, etc.
16) It is vital that you do not "feel a burn" in your quads. That's weird bodybuilding shit that means not only do you want a blond super model girlfriend, but even worse, you got the stupid idea that you want a blond super model girlfriend from an overpriced yet worthless men's magazine. Finally, feeling a burn in the quads means you haven't understood the need to find and use the posterior chain.
17) Yes, I'm available for consultations.
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