Losing, Quitting, and Hate me After You Lift 8 Tons

"You win some / you lose some / it's all the same to me" - Motorhead


Success can be incredibly motivating. As soon as I could move after PR'ing my 2k row, I did a nice little victory dance around the erg.

And then, at least after a few hours, I started to get mad. Certainly if I can row a 7:10, I can find 10.1 seconds in there somewhere and break 7. So I started studying in earnest for the next Mile High Sprints, which unless something changes are in early February, 2012. I was looking mainly for articles on pacing tactics when I stumbled on an article giving advice on how to handle dying in the middle of a 2k.

That's the kind of thing I file away in case I need it, but I don't actively try to remember it. I'm still convinced my problems are all mental, and if I find myself thinking during an erg test that I know what to do if I start dying, I'll believe that I'm dying, and I'll die. Nonetheless I do remember the first step in the author's suggested 5 step recovery plan, "do not stop."

And that's golden.

Failure can be incredibly motivating. At last year's Sprints, my - much too - high goal was to row a sub-7, my realistic goal was to PR, and my low goal was to avoid finishing last, none of which I did.

But I failed correctly. It's a known bad idea to try to watch the large monitor at an erg race, but I stole a glance to see what I needed to do to hit my low goal. Under 500 meters, I was a full boat length behind, so I did what needs to be done when you're losing; I attacked. I ended up losing by two seats, I couldn't stand up again for a few minutes, and I got enough motivation to start erging for 2012.

If I could have waltzed in there and rowed a 6:30, I'd have most likely moved on to four-square by now.

So you see, I think it's ridiculous that talk is circulating about quitting the fat loss contest at work now that we had a mid-point pinch test, and some people are forced to realize that they're behind. There are insinuations that I intentionally "bulked up" pre-contest, and that that is somehow cheating. I made it public knowledge that I was training for a power lifting meet and slamming a pint of heavy whipping cream a day, and now that I am literally working my ass off, that seems to bother people.

Is putting on adipose tissue by running a caloric excess with whipping cream while lifting heavy ass shit somehow wrong, while putting on adipose tissue by heavy-ass sitting and Cheetos is acceptable?

I pointed out to the group that no matter how fat has been gained, we all lose it the same way, and that as CrossFit Balboa likes to make very known, you can have results or you can have excuses.

So fucking hate me and quit. Hate me because you spend hundreds of dollars a month on caffeine and placebo weight loss supplements. If I expected a free ride to progress, I'd go back to drinking coffee. It costs less than supplements, it would make me even more erratic and unpleasant to be around, and it would even stain my teeth.

But I neither want nor expect the free ride. That's why last week, among other things, I dead-lifted over 8 tons and did 45 box jumps in 8 minutes.

So fucking hate me, or you could try moving 8 tons as fast as possible, and see if you don't get results like I do and entirely lose the desire to hate anyone.