First Open Letter to my Accountability Partner

I've tried before to use my blog as a training log, and I decided I didn't like it.  As I prepare for the USAPL National Masters, I'm going to do several of these open letters to my accountability partner [OLAP].  I don't feel like I have much room to screw off in my training now, and I believe being accountable to someone will help me move forward.

Today was light squat day, and it went like this:

5 x 45
5 x 135
8 x 170
6 x 210
6 x 245
6 x 265
6 x 265
6 x 265

On light days especially I like to concentrate on form.  There was something sub-perfect about the top sets, but they were all adequate.

I knew it was past time to start some kind of conditioning, and I spent too much time yesterday looking for a CrossFit WoD I could do.  I was looking for something with no pressing movement at all, and I couldn't find it.  At length I remembered I have a truly interesting and somewhat sadistic book of Greyskull Barbell conditioning work outs, and I settled on "swing, swing, catch, goblet squat" - two kettlebell swings followed by flipping the kettlebell over, catching it upside down, doing a goblet squat, and throwing the kettlebell back into the next swing.  It was written as 50 repetitions at 24 Kg, and after thinking it over I did:

Conditioning
25 repetitions of "swing, swing, catch, goblet squat" at 20 Kg.
time 2:15

I thought my scaling was only very slightly on the light side.  Maybe I should have tried 30 reps, but I came close to getting it right.  I never put the bell down, and I definitely got a training stimulus.  Honestly it was terrifying to face a metcon alone, and I missed the experience of watching other guys do half the work I did while using twice the time because they insist on using too much weight.

Shoulder rehab: yes I did some.  Not enough, but I did some.

Diet: Well the good part is that I ate no trash at all.  The bad part is that I didn't measure anything.  I'm sure I won't overeat today, but under-eating is if anything worse.

Other stuff:  I didn't sleep enough, but I did better than Sunday night when I had some nasty stair climbing dreams.

On the whole, it was far from a perfect day yet so much better than any of the previous days this year.

That, accountability partner, is enough to keep me out of burpees, isn't it?

CF Open 12-1 & 2012 Denver Fight for Air Climb

I wrote last time about how I decided to join the 2012 CF Open, so as I did in 2011, I'll give a quick breakdown of how it went.

CF Open 12-1 - 7 minutes as many repetitions as possible, athlete must touch a target 6" above fully extended arm.

What I thought before join the Open: this is stupid.
What I thought after deciding to join the Open: this is stupid, and I'm stupid.
What I thought after 30 seconds of burpees: I can't believe I haven't lost any conditioning since October.
What I thought after 45 seconds of burpees: fuck.
What I thought after 60 seconds of burpees: abandon the ego and pace this motherfucker.
What I thought for the next 6 minutes: one more burpee.
The result: 65
What I thought afterwards: That was a poor result, but I pulled it off without further injury.
What I think now: My whole shoulder girdle hurts.  That was stupid, and I'm not sure I pulled it off. 12-2 next!


Yesterday I tried my first Fight for Air Climb, and while I had significant pre-start jitters, this was one of the funnest things I've attempted.  I wanted to at least finish in under 15 minutes, though secretly I was hoping for under 10.  It being my first time, I didn't quite know how to tackle this, but it was clear pacing would be critical.  I started off with what felt like an easy pace, but when I saw the sixth floor, which because we started in the basement was really something like the ninth, I conceded it was time to slow down and concentrate on not stopping.  I did not stop, and I finished in 12:08.

The climb had a very "row 2k" feel to it which was probably why I liked it so much.  It felt very balanced to me in that I was never sure if my lungs or my legs would quit first.  I found myself just getting into the same mono-cyclical zone of thoughtless moving like on the erg.  I think because of the zen like quality of it, I remember almost nothing, but two things stand out.  The stairwell, for the most part, was uncomfortably hot, but on a few floors doors were open and cold air was blown in.  I remember liking the cold but wishing it were either hot or cold; the contrast was very annoying.  The climb felt like a tight series of hard right turns, but somewhere in the forties or so, the stairwell was displaced such that we had a straight, flat run down a hall before rejoining the stairwell and climbing again.  From something like the 20th floor to the 50th, I was following directly behind a team mate, and I'm reasonably sure that if I hadn't been following him so closely, I would have taken one more right turn and smashed into the wall.

I thought the event was superbly run.  I believe nearly 1800 people ascended at 8 second intervals.  As we had all feared the stairwells were tight with just enough room to pass, but I estimate maybe ten or so people passed me while I passed no more than twenty, so the 8 second interval was probably pretty close to optimal with so many people climbing 1,098 steps.

At the very least I'm doing this next year with a goal of breaking 10:00, but if possible I'd like to do a few more of these throughout the country.

The only bad part was the music at the starting line.  It all sounded like mush to me with the exception of one standout.


Oh, the climb gave me a very satisfying "Fran cough" that my conditioning didn't allow me to get after 12-1, so it was a welcome Sunday redemption after Saturday's 12-1.

the Danger Zone: One is also a Score

I'm not sure what, if anything, Twitter is for, but I have found a tweet of the day, week, month, probably year, and possibly eternity.  It was from Megan Kalmoe, 2008 Olympic sculler and 2012 Olympic hopeful, and it went like this:

"Yesterday's erg was tough. Been a long time since I've flown in to the Danger Zone. Still learning. Going to make today better."

I knew immediately that I liked it, and I continued to think about it a long time.  I have to admit I don't know what she was talking about, and I like it so much only because I know what I would have been talking about if it were my tweet.

I had been thinking about the Danger Zone [DZ] for years before Megan told me its rightful name.  It's still easiest for me to access the DZ by trying a maximal squat or erging an all out time trial.  Currently attempting to squat 400+ puts me in the DZ; I have to fully engage and give no thought to whether I rise from the hole or the spotters, one trusts, are quick enough to save me from being stapled to the platform.  The erg, if anything, is worse.  On a 500 meter piece I'm going to sit for upwards of 40 seconds not knowing if my heart will burst, my lungs will collapse, my legs will simply refuse to fire again, or if everything will just fade to black after a catastrophic systemic failure.  By extension, the 2,000 is worst of all.  I'll find the DZ as early as 800 meters in and stay there four minutes.

Note that the DZ is relative.  Matt Wenning might find the DZ squatting 1100, and while I'll race Megan at 500 meters, her Olympian stature leaves me unembarrassed to admit she'll need to finish the 2k a half-minute or more before me to find the DZ.

And while I live for the DZ, I don't live in the DZ.  I really should track this, but I estimate I go there no more than every six weeks or so.

I'm sure that if you go into the DZ and come out, you'll be transformed.  Like me, and unlike Megan and Matt, you'll come out not knowing that you're the best in the world, but rather that you're better than you were six weeks ago.  Your best, it turns out, is good enough.

The easiest way to get there is to compete, and that's why, yes, at some point - sooner than you would like - I'm going to push you into a competition.

Last Friday I did one knees-to-elbows to demonstrate for the on-ramp class at TwinFreaks CrossFit.  As I expected, I was rewarded with searing pain from my left shoulder down to my mid-back, and I knew I was correct in deciding to forgo this year's CrossFit Open.  My plan to maintain the bench press, push the squat and deadlift, and teach myself that erging fast is not impossible following the end of indoor rowing season  was impeccable.  I'm sure I can still do one pull-up, but I'm sure I don't want to.

So today when the guy I haven't seen for a year showed up, I told him he was going to do CrossFit Open workout 12-1, seven minutes of burpees.

And I knew that standing there watching him do it was inexcusably weak, so I signed myself up.

It's hard or impossible to watch someone from the outside and know when they're in the DZ.  Sometimes getting to the DZ is as easy as sitting in front of the computer Wednesday at 6pm local time betting that CrossFit HQ can't serve up an Open workout where it's impossible to score one.

One is also a score, and it's enough sometimes to find the power of the DZ.

Attitude

Today

Report · 3:23pm

Dude, come train

 

Report · 3:24pm

I think I am in

i have a stretched ligament, frayed rotator cuff, and arthritis

all in left shoulder

but it should work

I will be in Wednesday

Annotating a Training Plan

So far 2012 has been about reeling, free-falling, getting weak and fat, and using residual strength and conditioning to erg a couple 500's.  In a sick way I enjoy the 500's, and I thought it would keep people from noticing I've been doing nothing.  I don't know if I fooled anyone else, but in the end I couldn't fool myself.

I can forgive myself for being dejected even to the point of inactivity over the shoulder problems, but it's really past time to start doing whatever I can still do.  Apparently though I needed somebody to shove me.

A few days ago I got an e-mail from xxxx xxx informing me that I was her accountability partner, and that if she didn't do her proposed running, I was to make her jump rope for 20 minutes.

I thought that was a great idea, so I told her "sure," and by the way, you'll kindly force me to row a half marathon if I don't submit a training plan to you before Monday at 5:30 am.

What follows is a succinct, but good enough for my use, plan.  We haven't figured out punishments for me straying from the path yet, so for now it's just the plan with my comments appearing in braces.

Training plan targeting USAPL Masters Nationals May 4-6, 2012

{I wouldn't do shit at this point without a competition to focus on.  I looked around and found this and realized I'd be a moron to miss it.  I'll be lifting with the best in the US, and no matter how I perform, watching those other guys is going to keep me going for years.}

Performance Goals:

{ I'm not a fan of these, but I wanted at least something concrete.}

Compete at bodyweight of 182.6

( Entirely reasonable.  I have to stop being the Pillsbury Doughboy.}

Squat 400+

{ Under USAPL rules this is both ambitious and realistic.}

Deadlift 400+

{ This is entirely reasonable as long as that much weight can hang off my shoulder.  This one has to be fudgeable because if I start getting injury pain in training, 135 is also a fine deadlift.}

Bench 225 or more

{ This is the old "hold what you got" approach.  I seem to handle 225 fine.  It's hard to accept this after  benching 260 three months ago, but I have to quit blowing up chasing too much too soon.}

Behavioral Goals beginning Tuesday 2/28, approximately 9 weeks out.

{ These are the good ones.  I should be able to do all this stuff even if I can't handle the training loads I  would like to. 9 weeks isn't really arbitrary; 8 week cycles are good for me and I'll end up with a deload  week.}

Squat twice a week, Tuesdays and Sundays

{ I've been doing well on the twice a week cycle I've been using.  Do not fix what isn't broken.}

Deadlift and Bench Thursday

{ Pulling once a week is somewhere between enough and too much as long as you use the weight you  should be using.  It's possible to be more ambitious with the bench, but not in my current position.}

At least three WoDs per week, 10 minute cut-of

{ I have to stop being fat.  10 minutes or less will allow my to keep the intensity up.  People who insist on  doing long ass WoDs will have the opportunity to look at me and face the truth.}

No being stupid here. WoDs will be only exercises producing no shoulder pain.

{ This one is critical.  I haven't thought it out yet, but I suspect I'll be doing endless wall ball shots, box  jumps, kettlebell swings, and a few other movements.  This will not satisfy CrossFit ADHD, and I don't  care because I don't have CrossFot ADHD.}

Rowing is always acceptable as a WoD.

{ No Shit.  Still have to keep it under 10 minutes though.}

Minimum of one intense erging WoD per week, either one of the three, or as an extra fourth.

{ It's not all powerlifting.  I have to get ready for sculling, and the 2013 indoor rowing season is only 11  months away.}

Every day: all the shoulder prehab/rehab stuff I hate.

{ I'm not offering any bets on any of this.  If I did, this is easily where you should bet against me.  I hate  playing with the bands, but this is where I decide if I'll eventually bench 300+ or retire from lifting.}

Diet: Entirely Paleo approved beginning 2/28

{ I'll miss the free bagels and doughnuts on Tuesdays.  I'll also feel, look, and perform better.}

Calories will be set to 2730.

{ This is in another blog somewhere.  It's not too low and it allows a nice steady loss of fat. }

In the not improbably case of hunger on heavy lifting days, the calorie cap will be ignored as long as there is a downward trend in body fat.

{ This is in another blog somewhere.  I don't believe in being hungry although I can and will do that if I'm  not  making it to 182.6}

Absolutely no refusing to eat vegetables – no VLC.

{ I've learned that I'm not in that population that should be doing a very low carbohydrate diet.  I can and will go into ketosis if I have to, but I'm pretty sure I won't have to if I mostly follow the plan.}

That's it.  I'm ready to quit sucking now.

Nuts: Being Weird might Kill You

Often when I write a blog, I realize I have to write another blog, and today the other blog would be on cherry-picking work outs.  I'm not entirely opposed to cherry-picking, and with my shoulder not really working, I have to be careful about what I should be doing in a WoD.

Yesterdays WoD, 4 rounds for time - 6 deadlifts at 155 pounds, 12 push-ups, and 15 box jumps, looked reasonable to me.   I wanted to see how my shoulder would stand up to both pulling and doing push-ups, and all of this was done at moderate volume and light weight.

I did some shoulder prehab while the rest of the class was doing hang snatches, something I didn't feel like pushing at all yet.  They were still going when I finished working my shoulders, so I decided I should warm up the deadlift.  155 is very light, and while I'll pull 300ish conventional still, I decided to warm up sumo since I need work there, and then do the WoD conventional.

155 is so light, in fact, I decided to put chains on and pull speed doubles.  I rarely pull chains, and I haven't done it in a few months, so without much though I just centered the chains on the bar.

 

No, I can't foresee what's about to happen here.

                                          

 

I only pulled once and didn't make a double.

I smashed that fucker right into my testicles.

I still need more work on this.




Probably the reader can figured out where this happened, but I'm not going to say.  In some circles I'm known as the guy who knows how to get to 8% bodyfat with enough muscle to powerlift on the state level without any embarrassment.  And in one of these circles, I got an e-mail asking for my input on how to build a gym.

And my genitals were fully restored.

Here was a chance to do a gym from the ground up and avoid all the mistakes I made before.  This fucker could be perfect.

So I replied and said I would be delighted to help.

And in the next e-mail I was asked what I thought of this.

I'm supposed to squat tonight, but I think I'll just crush my nuts instead.

What Doesn't Kill you Makes you Weirder

My mustache has been giving me fits for a few months now.  I could almost eat, but I was finding food in my mustache with disturbing regularity.  Drinking, however, which I do even more than eating wasn't working.  A cascade of liquid - water, not so bad; coffee, worse; half and half or whipping cream, worst - would drain off my mustache onto my obligatory hoodie.

In frustration I thought to hack the growth off my face.

But, who would recognize me?  To each his own, yes, and to me it would be worse to stride across the Monaco Health Club floor once a year and have nobody recognize me as the guy with the lightning 500 meter row than to have half a pint of cream on my hoodie every day.

So I thought to simply trim the beast.

But where to start?  I looked in a mirror and could make no sense of what hair should remain, what should go, and even where some of it originated anyway.



When I had my shoulder MRI, the doctor suspected a torn labrum.  In order to make an accurate diagnosis, the radiologist shot some sort of dye into my shoulder capsule, so that imaging would show it either contained or leaking through the labrum.  The MRI turned out objectively good, which is for another blog, and it gave me a great idea.


This morning I had six scrambled eggs for breakfast, and I put on two or three times my usual amount of Louisiana Hot Sauce.

I went to the mirror and just cut off everything that was red.