Ninth OLAP: Squats, Bench, Snapping Spines, 12-5, and Bullshit

Today started perfectly.  It was light squat day.  I started at 6:30 am, and when A.B. left after the 5:30 class, she offered to get me something from Starbucks.  I asked for an espresso, and apparently her default understanding of an espresso is a quad shot.

She gets it.

Despite being fortified, I wasn't feeling great so I decided I would squat in the morning then return after work to bench.

Morning squats:
5 x 45 (high)
5 x 45
5 x 135
8 x 210
6 x 250
4 x 285
3 x 325
3 x 325

Everything here was solid, which is good enough.

Work was fine until late afternoon when a pathetic little imbecile came into the cube talking, to put it charitably, non-productive shit.  I kind of feel sorry for the guy.  As far as I can tell from his ceaseless chatter, he has a much larger income than me and a much better car.  Probably some day I will quit or be fired, and some day too, my F-150 will fall apart.  And then I will walk, and everything will be fine.  The pathetic little imbecile, on the other hand, would wither and die quickly without a car or a job.

So while I feel sorry for the guy, I wanted to snap his spine and see if that would shut him up.  Like a lot of guys with large incomes and new cars, he is close to helpless physically, and snapping his spine would have been a nice warm up for me.  Fortunately while I was weighing my pity against my anger, I had time to remember that law serves largely to protect weak imbeciles from well intentioned people like me who have a sincere desire to correct their ill manners.

But that's why we have barbells.

I was now happy that I left the bench session until after work.
The work sets were 6 x 5 x 205.
There was nothing really good or bad here.  It still bothers me that in December I was doing substantially more, and I left feeling more like I had slapped a middle-schooler than snapped an imbecile's spine, but it was better than nothing.

I decided to do CrossFit Open 12-5 today and be done with it.
CF Open 12-5:

Complete as many reps as possible in 7 minutes following the rep scheme below:

3 Barbell Thrusters
3 Chest to bar Pull-ups
6 Barbell Thrusters
6 Chest to bar Pull-ups
9 Barbell Thrusters
9 Chest to bar Pull-ups
12 Barbell Thrusters
12 Chest to bar Pull-ups
15 Barbell Thrusters
15 Chest to bar Pull-ups
18 Barbell Thrusters
18 Chest to bar Pull-ups
21 Barbell Thrusters
21 Chest to bar Pull-ups...
This is a timed workout. If you complete the round of 21, go on to 24. If you complete 24, go on to 27, etc.

This was also last year's 11-6, and it was my second best workout last year.  I got well into the 15 pull-ups, which was not far behind some truly good people last year.   I knew this year that if I wanted to be smart I'd have to stop at one pull-up.  I think it's understandable that this is disheartening for me, so I wanted to do 12-5 and forget it.

I was in such a hurry, though, that I loaded the standard 95 pounds on the bar instead of the prescribed 100.  I started the clock, knocked out three thrusters and did one painful but perfect chest to bar pull-up.  I was walking around simultaneously happy to be done and embarrassed at having had people watch me do one pull-up, when it was pointed out to me that I needed to use 100 pounds.

Fuck.

I had used about 90 seconds of my 7 minutes, so without resetting the clock, I put five more pounds on the bar, did three thrusters and one more painful but perfect chest to bar pull-up.

Score: 4 (twice, almost)



I got an e-mail today from a guy who wants me to give him $975 for his course on how to use the Internet to become famous and start making the millions I deserve from my fitness business.  It was all fascinating enough to read the whole e-mail along with the endorsements from those who have already become famous and made millions.

I don't think I need to pay anyone to learn hyperbole, actually I'm quite good with it already.

I've seen people I personally know publish outrageous claims about their abilities.

I don't care if they get people to give them lots of money or if they go broke.

I decided when I started that I would only deal in honesty.  If you want to look at some other blogs, you'll see that I'm not that fastest or the strongest or the best at making other people the fastest and strongest.  Even after I sift out the nearly infinite bullshit, there are legitimate guys who are faster and stronger and better trainers than me.

It is taking me longer than I wanted, but I am making myself the best I can be.  I can make you good enough that you need to go to someone better, and when that happens I will be proud to recommend you to a better no bullshit guy.